When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
