This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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