I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
