are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
