i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
