I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
