remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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