Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
