I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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