I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize