WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
