Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
