She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pooping to opera.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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