How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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