just come out here and I will go home with you...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
