This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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