My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
