Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
