Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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