I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
