Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
