New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
