He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
