I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
