so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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