you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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