It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
