You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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