If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
