he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
