every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
