we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
