I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
whose parrot is this?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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