Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
