My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
