I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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