He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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