Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
