they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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