Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
