Do you still have your period?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
