also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
