i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
