Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
