That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Farmville is her only friend.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
