Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
