your thong is hanging out like whoa
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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