I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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