i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
