my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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